The road stretched before him. Both directions straight into the horizon. couldn’t say if his people had built this road or not, but it didn’t matter. There was regret in every piece of clay and gravel that he had walked on.
The older man had served his country by keeping the peace in Israel. He had never risen to legionaire, in face had never gotten higher than optio. Being second in command didn’t make him any less guilty though.
His vantage point high up didn’t act as a dam against his memories. This road had been a part of his twelve years of dedicated service.
It was five years ago when he was travelling through here with his superior and came upon a shepherd girl. He hadn’t said anything when his superior had ordered him and his men to take three sheep for his dinner. A friend of his had joked that the girl could get by on the four sickly lambs they had left behind. There was also the leers in Marc and Julius’ eyes for the young girl as they were eating their meal, but again he didn’t stop them taking her into the trees while they were finishing their meal. She was just a Jew.
That was just a few miles down the road in that direction, the older retired man thought. He turned his head as well as he was able to look from whence he had come. In the other direction, a few miles away he had brought two centurions with him to collect taxes for Ceasar. The family couldn’t pay as so many of them at that time couldn’t. Shame filled him as he knew that so few families could pay the exorbitant amount. There was no shame three years ago when the soldiers had commandered their only son to be a slave. “Just annexing more Jewish territory,” his own second had said. Another joke. He had frivolously torn apart another family and the only thing left behind was a chuckle.
His friends were here with him, all those years later. Not anyone from his army days. Many of them had been killed in far off wars, or putting down uprisings. These four people with him, took care of him in his old age, gave him what they could and treated him respectfully.
It was a different kind of respect than his underlings had given him. He remembered Jerusalem two years ago. Three men arguing in the streets. Serving as a guard for the Roman governor wasn’t easy duty. He had been standing outside when he noticed the men arguing.
Usually the presence of a soldier like himself would’ve calmed the men, or at least scattered them. Not so with this group of Jewish merchants. Two of them took the frustration of their argument and turned it on him. It had gotten very ugly. When he had pulled his sword from it’s sheath as a show of extra force, he had been attacked.
This had played in his mind during his sleeping and waking hours. How he had been so prideful, expecting these common peasants to capitulate before a symbol of Roman might. Years later, it hurt to think how he had easily dispatched two of them. His sword and training being no match for poor merchants. Two men were dead, and he had just walked away from the screaming wife and son who held the broken body.
It didn’t take long after that. His only solace in the weight of grief was how he had paid for it.
It was only months after that that it had started. He couldn’t keep up during training runs. Stumbling and tripping up the rest of his guards. While his legs got worse, his mind seemed to grow stronger. Remembering how he had taken from these poor people. Taking their taxes, their children, their homes and their lives. His old friend Julius told him the gods had frowned upon his service for some reason. He knew though. It was what he deserved. Soon he couldn’t walk more than a few steps a day. When he couldn’t get out of his bed, he had been released from Roman service. His wife had left him for another stronger soldier.
Some days there was anger, but mostly he had felt he had been repaid but a little for the horrible things he had done. If it hadn’t been for his four friends, three of them were Jews.
Maybe there is some peace here, he thought, looking at the road.
His friend James kneeled beside him smiling, “We are ready, sir.” When his knarled hands had been beyond use, James would bring him soup and serve him while reading from his books.
He couldn’t move his neck very much, but when he turned he could see that his friends were finished their work. A hole had been cleared in the roof. They had taken the thatch and pulled it one side, used tools to clear break some of the debris. It was a small hole, just large enough.
There was a man in this room. Someone who claimed to be the Messiah that James had read to him about. All he wanted to do was see the man, maybe this stranger Jew could give him some peace.
When they found the large house full of people, he almost told his friends to turn back. They had carried him all of this way. Just to see this man. It was Aaron’s idea to go through the roof. These last days it was getting harder and harder to breath. The palsy was now moving to his lungs. It was just a matter of time. They knew his nightmares, they were hoping for this old crippled soldier to find some measure of peace, and to pass his last days with dignity.
His friends looped strong ropes through the mat they had carried him in on, His body curled up as they gently pushed him down through the hole. His knees were pulled up toward his head making it so hard to gather a breath. His body contorted like a baby as he was lowered in jerks meter by meter down to the ground.
There were gasps all around. This room was full of people gathered around this one man. A few backed away as the traveling mat reached the ground, right in front of the man, Jesus.
Jesus wasn’t as tall as the rumors spoke, just average height, but his eyes were so kind. He kneeled down in front of this cripple looking at him with sorry, pain and love. How could a man he had never met seem to care about him so?
“Man,” Jesus said, “You’re sins are forgiven.”
He broke out in a sweat. How could he know what he had done? He looked in Jesus eyes and saw with absolute certainty that all the evil, pain he had done in his life was gone. Forgiven. He took a quick painful breath and smiled. There was peace in his heart. He felt like a boy again, an innocent boy. He tried to inhale to say thanks when someone behind him shouted him down.
“Forgiven! How can you forgive this man? You are not God!” More people started shouting, yelling, but he hardly heard. He felt so light. He didn’t fear death as he did before. There would be no judgement. The shepherd girl and merchants wouldn’t haunt his dreams anymore.
Suddenly there was silence. Jesus was talking again. “Why are you thinking blasphemy? What is easier for me to say here? You’re sins are forgiven or to say Arise and walk? I will prove to you that I have authority to forgive sins.”
Jesus knelt down beside him again, but the look in his eyes was different. There was joy there and purpose. “Arise, take your mat and go back to your house.”
Suddenly cold feeling shot up the length of his arm. His lungs reflexively took a deep breath, deeper than he had taken in a year. Again and again he breathed, so easily, so joyfully.
He looked at his feet. They were straightened, and moving. He looked at Jesus, and stood up easily. His mind remembered how to stand and had completely forgotten that he wasn’t able to do it.
He jumped in the air! The crowd parted as he ran outside, laughing. “Praise be to the God of Israel!” He screamed so that everyone the house could hear. He screamed it into the shoulder of James and Aaron as they met him outside with tears in their eyes.
No comments:
Post a Comment